Pioneering Change & Breaking Barriers

David Christel: 00:00:00

As we're all aware, there is so much occurring within

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the black community, uh, not all

of it positive and how we're, how

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blacks are viewed in this country.

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And the fact that we're, we're going

back to practically Jim Crow, uh,

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stuff, it just is mind boggling to me.

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And I don't want.

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I want to do my part to change that.

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Tony Tidbit: We'll discuss race

and how it plays a factor, and

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how we didn't even talk about this

topic, because we were afraid.

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BEP Narrator: A black

executive perspective.

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Tony Tidbit: Welcome to a black executive

perspective podcast, a safe space where

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we discuss all matters related to race,

especially race in corporate America.

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I'm your host, Tony tidbit.

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So as we always do in the beginning

of our episodes, don't forget to check

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out our partners, CODE M Magazine,

whose mission is saving the black

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family by first saving the black man.

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Check them out at CODE M Magazine.

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Speaking of Code M, Code M Magazine

stands as a pivotal resource for

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black men enriching their lives and

those of their families, friends,

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coworkers, and the communities.

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Avoiding standard men's magazine topics,

They instead focus on vital but often

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overlook issues such as intimacy,

emotions, relationships, identity,

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and broader societal challenges.

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CODE M's articles are crafted

to enlighten, challenge, and

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uplift, promoting personal

growth and deeper understanding.

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In today's episode, we are joined

by David Crystal, Managing Editor at

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CODE M, who will share insights on

the magazine's origins and its impact,

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as well as the community's reception

to CODE M's mission of empowering the

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Black family by empowering Black men.

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Let me tell you a little bit about David.

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David, a former dancer based in

New York, he transitioned from the

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dance, his dance career in 1986 to

become a specialist in computer based

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training, developing projects for

leading corporations and the military.

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Simultaneously, he served as a counselor

for persons with AIDS, focusing on

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end of the life and wellness issues.

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In the early 1990s, David was

appointed Director of the Creative

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Department for Tony Robbins.

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Since 1995, he has been a prolific

ghostwriter and editor of books.

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David is the author of

Married Men Coming Out.

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The ultimate guide to becoming the

man you were born to be, and is set to

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publish two additional books this year.

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David Christel, welcome to a Black

Executive Perspective Podcast, my brother.

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David Christel: Thank you, Tony.

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It's nice to be here.

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Tony Tidbit: Well, buddy, we're really

excited that you're here and it's great

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to have, you know, the person, the brains

behind the magic at CODE M Magazine.

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So we definitely want to listen

and hear more about the recipes and

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stuff that you put together to make

the magazine so compelling and more

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importantly, helping to transform

lives, uh, within the black community.

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But before we go there, my friend,

why don't you tell us a little bit

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about where you currently residing in.

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a little bit about your family.

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David Christel: Well, um, my partner,

Richard and I live in Reno, Nevada.

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And the reason we're living here is that

we were in Los Angeles and Richard's

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company decided to move to Reno because

it's in the process of being sold and

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there's a better tax scenario here.

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But,

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um, Richard and I have

been together for 14 years.

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We have known each other

those 17 years old.

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So that's 54 years.

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Wow.

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Uh, 53 years.

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Okay.

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Now, you know, math is

not my best subject.

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Tony Tidbit: Well, I mean,

12 months is not a big deal.

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But, but buddy, you look great, though.

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I'll be honest with you.

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That, you know, that's a great blessing.

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You've, you've, uh,

matured well, I should say.

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David Christel: Cool.

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Thank you very much.

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Um, as a dancer, I was very, uh, Focused

on my health and being able to really

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use my body as optimally as possible.

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So I never smoked.

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I never did drugs amazingly, you know,

growing up in the sixties and seventies.

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And, um, I wasn't much of a drinker.

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Um, and I stayed out of the sun and so,

um, I've just really taken care of myself.

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I have a great diet.

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Richard is a terrific cook, so he

really takes care of us and, you

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know, we just do all the things that

keep us in shape, like going to the

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gym at least three times a week, so.

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Tony Tidbit: That is awesome, my friend.

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So why did you want to come on

a Black Executive Perspective

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to talk about this topic?

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David Christel: Well, um, there.

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There's a lot going on in the world,

but specifically about our own

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country, we seem to be backsliding.

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And there are a lot of reasons

as to why that's happening.

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And I never thought in my lifetime that

I'd see us going in this direction again.

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And I've always grown up with

the idea that we are either the

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solution or we're the problem.

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And so I want to be part of the solution.

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When I met Bilal, a Um, I knew that

black men, and by extension black people,

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Women and families and communities

need to have their voice heard.

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They need to be understood more clearly.

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And as we're all aware, there is so much

occurring within the black community.

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Uh, not all of it positive and how we're,

how Blacks are viewed in this country.

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And the fact that we're, we're going

back to practically Jim Crow, uh,

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stuff, it just is mind boggling to me.

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And I don't want to, I want

to do my part to change that.

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And change people's perceptions.

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Part of what is occurring with CODE M is

that not only are black readers in our

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audience, um, grasping what we're about.

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A lot of people of other colors and

white people are really finding.

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Well, we have to offer of interest to them

because it's expanding the conversation.

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It's providing insight.

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And we, we want people to truly

understand what's going on in the

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minds of specifically black men.

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So we stop operating according

to misguided perceptions and the

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perceptions that other people are

purposely leading us to that don't

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in positively inform our communities.

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Tony Tidbit: Got it, my brother.

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So, I mean, look, I love it.

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You've already started, you know, diving

into what we're going to talk about.

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So, are you ready to talk about it, David?

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Yeah.

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Okay, buddy.

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Let's talk about it.

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So, let's back up a little bit because I,

I, I, we're definitely going to go into

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and, and provide a deeper perspective.

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Um, on CODE M and, and you spoke a

little bit in terms of why you guys

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are, why you start, why you, what you're

looking to accomplish with the magazine.

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But I want, we want to learn a little

bit more about you first, okay?

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So you've had a, you've, you've

been very blessed through a

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lot of tragic in your life.

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Can you speak to that a little bit?

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David Christel: Um, sure.

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Um, I, I have two older brothers, but I

didn't find this out until I was, Turning

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60 years old, um, I was immediately

given up for adoption as a baby.

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The reason, uh, is that we three boys

were taken away from our birth parents

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by the state of Colorado because

our birth parents were so violent.

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Both my older brothers have brain damage

because of that being around them and

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neither of them can read or write.

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So, um, I Spent the first four years

of my life living in six foster

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homes and four adoption agencies.

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I was being sexually

abused during at age three.

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Then I got adopted at age

four by a violent family.

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And so somehow I was going to work

through this whole thing about how

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not to be as a, as a human being.

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Around age three, I contracted polio, so

I was in leg braces and, um, on crutches.

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And when I got adopted, that my adopted

family was living on a farm initially.

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So one of the things I had to do

in crutches and on, and my braces

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is milk the cows in the morning.

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So what I would do is I

had a little red flyer.

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Um, wagon and I would tie a rope

around the handle, tie the handle,

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tie the rope around my waist.

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And once I milked the cow, I would

put the milk pail into my little

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red flyer and then drag that over to

where we had to deposit all that milk.

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No matter what kind of weather it was, um,

and it could get quite cold in Colorado.

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And that's what I grew up with.

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And when I was about, Six years old.

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I read an article about Wilma

Rudolph, the Olympic track champion.

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And when I read that she had had

polio and now she was a three

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time gold medalist in track.

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She became my first hero.

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And I knew I wanted to excel like

she had and get out of my crutches.

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And, um, my braces.

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So I, but, uh, in 1962, our

family moved to Grand Junction, or

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moved to Fort Collins, Colorado.

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I was out of my braces and no

longer used crutches, but I was one.

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Skinny little waifu of a kid, and our

doctor said, you know, we got to do

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something to fatten David up, and he had,

his first suggestion was that I needed

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to have warm milkshakes, which I was all

for, and the other one was to get involved

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in some kind of physical activity.

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Well, you can imagine, I,

couldn't run very well.

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Um, my left leg was still very twisted and

I just happened to see in the newspaper,

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um, an ad for a summer gymnastics camp.

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I begged my parents to please let me go.

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Play, pay the 15 and let me do that camp.

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When I walked in there,

it was like a movie.

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The place stopped and just stared

at this skinny little kid and the

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coach came over and asked me if I was

in the right place and I said, yes.

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And he's looking at my legs.

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Going, um, this, you know, I don't think

you're going to do very well here, and

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I said, I've, I've, I've got to do this.

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By the end of that summer, I could do

front rolls and back rolls, and my left

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leg was starting to straighten out.

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And then, um, when I was 12 years old, I

got raped and beaten to a pulp by two men.

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And for the next seven years, two

to three times a week, those two

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men and a whole group of other men

would do whatever they wanted to me.

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And needless to say, I developed

a phenomenal distrust of adults.

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And, um, I went to the Monsignor of our

church to tell him what had happened

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when I was raped at 12, because I

knew he knew the two perpetrators.

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And in less than five minutes,

he told me it was my fault.

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Be sure to go to confession.

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Otherwise, I was going to hell.

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Tony Tidbit: Can you stop right

there for a second, David?

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I don't mean to interrupt you, but

just so I just want to make sure

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we're all following along here.

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Um, you were sexually abused

when you were 12 years old.

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Um, and, and these individuals, I, I don't

know, were they working at the church?

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Were they part of the church or

they're just part of the community?

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David Christel: They were part of my

church and they were also in a production

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of the music band that I was in.

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Tony Tidbit: Got it.

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So, so they're a part of the church.

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You tell the, the, the, the priest.

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What's going on?

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And then he condemns you at 12

years old in terms of the horrific

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things that you were dealing with.

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Um, and then he said that you were

going to go to hell and didn't, if

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I'm, and I didn't mean to cut you

off, but did those individuals get

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ever, were they ever held accountable?

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David Christel: Um, years later,

one of them died from AIDS.

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And the other one, amazingly,

ended up in the state pen, uh, in

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Colorado for child molestation.

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Tony Tidbit: Well,

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yeah, I, so yeah, later in life, you

know, but what I'm saying at the church,

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why were they ever held accountable?

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So most likely they ended up doing

something similar to other boys as well.

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Would you, would you agree with that?

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Okay.

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David Christel: Yeah.

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So as far as I know, they, um, the

Monsignor of my church never told anybody.

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He never talked to my parents,

uh, never helped out in any way.

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And, um, I was devastated when

he told me it was my fault.

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And, uh, so I just turned my

back on the church at that time.

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So I'm done.

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I continued to sing in the, in the

church choir and I, the nuns and

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I were really good friends, but

I was done with Monsignor and I

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was done with the Catholic church.

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I, I couldn't see why I would

stick around for support and

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look for support from them.

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Tony Tidbit: So.

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You know, you contracted

polio, couldn't walk straight,

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got, went to a gym, asked your parents

to allow you to read, read about Wilma

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Rudolph, who also for our audience, who

may not know Wilma, Wilma Rudolph also had

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polio and she ended up overcoming it and

ended up becoming winning the Olympics in

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track and field, I think it was in 1960,

So there is a lot of information about her

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that you can find on our website at www.

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fema.

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gov.

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Be well.

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Uh, I think it was 1960

Rome Olympics, right?

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Yes.

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Yes.

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David Christel: And she was,

she was called La Tornada.

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Tony Tidbit: And what is La Tornado?

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The Tornado.

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Okay.

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So she ended up, and I believe

it was a hundred, a hundred meter

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dash or something that nature.

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I could be wrong.

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David Christel: She won three events.

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So she was the first woman to win

three consecutive gold medals.

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Tony Tidbit: Exactly.

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And she had polio.

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Okay.

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And you looked at her,

looked at her as a hero.

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Right.

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Because she had the same type

of disease and overcame it.

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So then you kind of felt that you

could be overcome this disease as well.

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Is that correct?

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Yes.

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Right.

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And then gotten to gymnastics and, and,

and all of a sudden you're flipping and

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jumping and your leg straightens out.

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So you, you were able to conquer

that because one of the things also,

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And I spoke about it in your bio.

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You became a dancer.

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Okay.

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David Christel: Well, before, before

that, I had, when I graduated high

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school, I lettered in gymnastics,

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Tony Tidbit: think

about that for a second.

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Okay.

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So, but hold on.

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I don't want to diminish, uh, uh,

miss, uh, or, um, you know, um,

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um, minimize what you also had

to deal with, with sexual abuse.

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And then you go tell somebody

and then they, they condemn you.

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And so that's a lot to

deal with as a child.

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Okay.

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From a medical, uh, uh, disease

and then also physical abuse.

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Um, so my friend, and then you're able,

as we, as we spoke about your bio, you

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ended up, um, writing books, you ended up.

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In the military, you ended

up working with Tony Robbins.

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You ended up, and now you've been

managing editor of CODE M Magazine.

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And there's a ton of other stuff that you

have accomplished in your life, my friend.

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So for our audience is listening.

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To number one, thank you

for being so vulnerable.

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Okay.

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Cause most people, this, these are

tough, tough things that you dealt with.

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And most people would probably want to

keep them to themselves and rightfully.

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So, so tell us a little bit,

if you don't mind, how did

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you come up with the mindset?

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to overcome those things and maybe

you still struggle with them, but

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talk a little bit about, you know,

what, how did you, uh, muster up the

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strength to continue to move forward?

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David Christel: Well, it's

been a lifelong process.

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Um, I have done plenty of therapy,

both individual and group therapy

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for adults molested as children.

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And I, I had developed a tremendous

amount of hate for the gay community.

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And for, um, against my adoptive parents,

cause we had a terrible relationship.

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Um, I was stabbed.

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I was repeatedly suffocated as a child,

um, beaten to a pulp all the time.

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and berated as being less than

everybody else on a constant basis.

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Every day I was told how stupid I was.

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And so I became a very fearful child, but

conversely, I had this will to survive.

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So my ego stepped in and I

became, well, I am a Leo.

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So I became the worst

aspects of Leo and, uh, just.

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Oversized, um, personality.

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I stayed out of the house as much as

I could because I couldn't stand it

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there and got involved in theater.

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And I ended up, uh, teaching ice

skating at the, uh, ice skating rink

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on Colorado State University campus.

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And I managed the ice skating rink there.

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And I was in community

productions and I, I just did

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everything I could to stay away.

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: 00:19:32

I was in Boy Scouts.

309

: 00:19:34

Um.

310

: 00:19:35

And I just, I kept fighting,

but emotionally I was in

311

: 00:19:42

so much turmoil and pain.

312

: 00:19:45

And I, I had such a skewed

understanding of how the world worked.

313

: 00:19:49

I, and I, I did not feel that

the world was on my side.

314

: 00:19:55

Tony Tidbit: And rightfully so.

315

: 00:19:56

I can definitely, I

would, I can empathize.

316

: 00:19:59

I wouldn't think the world

would be on my side either.

317

: 00:20:01

Let this back up a second, because you

said you, you, you, you, uh, You gained

318

: 00:20:07

a lot of hate for the gay community.

319

: 00:20:09

Why was that?

320

: 00:20:10

David Christel: Well, um, uh, if

you do the math being raped two

321

: 00:20:16

to three times a week for seven

years, that's a lot of rape.

322

: 00:20:23

And I.

323

: 00:20:27

I got so emotionally, um, messed up,

skewed, um, from that and what the men did

324

: 00:20:37

to me on a repeated basis that I blamed

it all on gay men and the gay community.

325

: 00:20:46

And yet it took me until I was about

17 to realize that I'm actually gay.

326

: 00:20:54

But then there was the whole church

thing that came into place saying

327

: 00:20:58

that, you know, being a gay person,

you're obviously going to hell.

328

: 00:21:02

I thought my, my world was so bad that

I didn't want to be in it anymore.

329

: 00:21:10

So at age 17, I put a knife in my chest.

330

: 00:21:16

It glanced off my sternum, and I

have a scar right here from it.

331

: 00:21:20

Um, and I, it obviously didn't work.

332

: 00:21:25

So what I did was I took every pill in

our house, including my mother's, my

333

: 00:21:32

stepmother, my foster, God, I can't talk.

334

: 00:21:35

My adopted mother's hysterectomy,

hysterectomy medicine.

335

: 00:21:40

And I ended up two weeks in

the hospital, deathly ill.

336

: 00:21:44

My adoptive family did

not come visit me once.

337

: 00:21:50

The entire time I was there.

338

: 00:21:51

But who did show up was my partner,

Richard, whom I had met at age 17.

339

: 00:21:59

His father, he and his

father came to visit me.

340

: 00:22:02

And his Dad was phenomenal

and he led a meditation group.

341

: 00:22:11

And so I started going to that meditation

group and that was really the beginning

342

: 00:22:17

of the turnaround for me when I realized

that there was much more to life

343

: 00:22:22

than when I was experiencing in that.

344

: 00:22:25

And this took a while to really,

uh, ground to was the idea that

345

: 00:22:29

everything that happens to me in my

life actually happens for my benefit.

346

: 00:22:33

It's how I perceive it and what I make

of it, the meaning that I give it.

347

: 00:22:38

So, like I said, it took years to really,

truly understand what all that meant.

348

: 00:22:45

And then all the pain that I went

through, both physically and emotionally

349

: 00:22:50

has made me the person I am today.

350

: 00:22:54

It allowed me to also be of service

to other people who understand the

351

: 00:23:00

pain that they were going through and,

and knowing that we had something in

352

: 00:23:08

common, that I wasn't just all talk.

353

: 00:23:11

I had been through it, and so

I actually could support them

354

: 00:23:16

in their process of healing.

355

: 00:23:19

But like I said, it's

been a lifelong process.

356

: 00:23:22

Tony Tidbit: Buddy, number

one, thank you for sharing.

357

: 00:23:25

Number two, you know, I, I, I

have no words, um, to be fair.

358

: 00:23:32

Um,

359

: 00:23:35

you epitomize what strength is.

360

: 00:23:40

You epitomize in terms of taking

horrendous things that happen to you.

361

: 00:23:48

Dealing with them and, and, and

focusing and, and turning your

362

: 00:23:53

life into a positive, my brother.

363

: 00:23:56

Uh, and you, you wrote a book, okay,

if I remember correctly, um, about,

364

: 00:24:03

you know, your life, the gay community.

365

: 00:24:07

And I would imagine that helped a

lot of people who they might not have

366

: 00:24:13

dealt with the same things that you

specifically dealt with, but they probably

367

: 00:24:20

dealt whatever they were dealing with.

368

: 00:24:22

Hearing your story is probably helped

them really overcome their situations and

369

: 00:24:29

hopefully made them, um, want to live.

370

: 00:24:33

But then also made them be willing to

accept themselves as who they are and

371

: 00:24:39

still be proud of what, who they are

372

: 00:24:42

David Christel: and vice versa,

because we all help each other.

373

: 00:24:46

We're all in this together as far

as I'm concerned, and that's part of

374

: 00:24:49

my spiritual background is realizing

that we are deeply interconnected

375

: 00:24:54

and that when we enter, when we.

376

: 00:24:57

interface with each other heart to

heart, soul to soul, as I say, then

377

: 00:25:03

we are, it's not a one way street.

378

: 00:25:05

We're, we're supporting each other.

379

: 00:25:08

So I learned a huge amount from

others that I was, uh, supporting.

380

: 00:25:14

Um, Um, they helped me gain a better

perspective on my life challenges and

381

: 00:25:22

help me to reach even more deeply into

an understanding of who I am and what

382

: 00:25:28

my, what I feel my purpose in life is.

383

: 00:25:32

Tony Tidbit: So speaking

of how we're all connected.

384

: 00:25:36

How did you get involved with Code M?

385

: 00:25:39

So how did that connection happen?

386

: 00:25:41

Okay.

387

: 00:25:42

From the dancer, the Tony Robbins to

Bilal Akram and Brad, uh, Bowling,

388

: 00:25:48

you know, the, the publisher CEO and

the president of Code M magazine.

389

: 00:25:54

David Christel: Well,

390

: 00:25:54

I was in Cleveland.

391

: 00:25:56

Uh, working on a book, ghostwriting

a book for a client of mine.

392

: 00:26:01

And I had written an article

for Alexander Boone's magazine.

393

: 00:26:06

It's a women's magazine.

394

: 00:26:08

And, uh, one of the people on

her staff said there is this

395

: 00:26:14

new magazine starting out.

396

: 00:26:16

I think they'd be interested in, you

know, publishing one of your articles.

397

: 00:26:22

So I contacted Bilal.

398

: 00:26:24

And we decided to get together for lunch.

399

: 00:26:27

We hit it off.

400

: 00:26:31

Um, I was captivated by his idea for this

magazine that would speak to black men.

401

: 00:26:39

And we, we were on the same wavelength.

402

: 00:26:43

And we didn't want something like another,

Um, GQ or Playboy or anything like that.

403

: 00:26:50

What we wanted was to reach into the

minds and hearts of black men and help

404

: 00:26:55

transform them to give them insights,

to give them inspiration, to uplift

405

: 00:27:01

them, to see that they are more than,

than what they may see of themselves.

406

: 00:27:06

So we want to present issues

and topics that a lot of men

407

: 00:27:12

don't want to talk about.

408

: 00:27:14

Tony Tidbit: Right.

409

: 00:27:14

Yeah.

410

: 00:27:15

No, no, finish your thought.

411

: 00:27:18

And then I have a question.

412

: 00:27:18

David Christel: Oh, so it's,

413

: 00:27:22

Bilal and I being on the same page,

we knew we wanted to work together.

414

: 00:27:27

So he asked me to come

on board and I said, yes.

415

: 00:27:31

And that was seven, eight years ago.

416

: 00:27:35

Tony Tidbit: The rest is history.

417

: 00:27:36

We should say, right.

418

: 00:27:37

Yeah.

419

: 00:27:38

But just backing up what you said, right.

420

: 00:27:40

Um, in terms of the

content, the goal of CODE M.

421

: 00:27:45

was to, you know, help Black men,

inspire Black men, and help them

422

: 00:27:51

realize and see themselves as

champions and stuff to that nature.

423

: 00:27:56

Based on what you've been through in

your life, could you relate to that?

424

: 00:28:01

Um, That mission that because

you've went through, and it's

425

: 00:28:05

not apples versus apples, right?

426

: 00:28:08

Right.

427

: 00:28:08

But at the end of the day, it's

still about trying to help someone

428

: 00:28:12

be able to see that they're

better than what they may think.

429

: 00:28:17

And at the end of the day, there's

still things that they can accomplish

430

: 00:28:21

at a high level within themselves

and within their community.

431

: 00:28:25

So was there, was, was there a part of

a connection based on some of the things

432

: 00:28:30

that you went through that made you

say, Hey, I want to be a part of this?

433

: 00:28:33

David Christel: Well, I understand

people being suppressed.

434

: 00:28:39

Um, what I went through, uh, my

adoptive family was constantly putting

435

: 00:28:45

me down and berating me, like I said.

436

: 00:28:49

And just tell me, day in

and day out, I was stupid.

437

: 00:28:53

Mm hmm.

438

: 00:28:54

And building my adoptive sister up.

439

: 00:28:57

Saying that she was amazing because she

was constantly getting straight A's.

440

: 00:29:02

And I, so I understand from that

perspective of, of a family or

441

: 00:29:09

another person or society putting

you down, saying that you are less

442

: 00:29:14

than, I can't stand that stuff.

443

: 00:29:17

So I want to do something to do my

part in helping to shift that around.

444

: 00:29:24

So you look at this face and you'd

say, yeah, you're a white boy.

445

: 00:29:29

Yeah, but nobody knows that my birth

mother is Mexican and Cherokee.

446

: 00:29:35

But that's why I wear these earrings.

447

: 00:29:38

I always have but the thing and

I didn't find this out until: 2013

448

: 00:29:44

but I I want to help people

I don't care what your color

449

: 00:29:49

is, what your background is.

450

: 00:29:51

I want you to have a voice.

451

: 00:29:53

I want you to be heard.

452

: 00:29:54

I want you to be understood and seen.

453

: 00:29:57

And the fact that society tells you

that you're not worthy or deserving.

454

: 00:30:04

Are you kidding me?

455

: 00:30:06

Please.

456

: 00:30:07

So I want to do what I can

to help turn that around.

457

: 00:30:11

Um, and so the magazine's always looking

for, uh, new, um, journalists, authors.

458

: 00:30:19

writers to add to what we've

already done in seven, eight years.

459

: 00:30:27

Um, there are voices we haven't heard.

460

: 00:30:29

I want to give them a chance.

461

: 00:30:31

I want to give them a leg up if we

can, um, and get them out there in the

462

: 00:30:38

public so that others see and hear them.

463

: 00:30:42

And, you know, we don't have it all.

464

: 00:30:43

We don't, we can't see it all.

465

: 00:30:45

We, we can't envision it all.

466

: 00:30:47

Others are part of that process.

467

: 00:30:50

So we want them to, we

want to engage with them.

468

: 00:30:53

Tony Tidbit: Got it.

469

: 00:30:54

Got it.

470

: 00:30:55

So the mission, and I spoke to it at the

beginning of our episode, the mission

471

: 00:30:59

of CODE M is to, you know, transform

the lives of men, Black men, right?

472

: 00:31:04

Yeah.

473

: 00:31:05

Um, talk a little bit as being the

managing editor, talk, tell us, share

474

: 00:31:10

with us a little bit about some of

the topics that you cover to help,

475

: 00:31:14

you know, complete that mission.

476

: 00:31:18

David Christel: Well, you know, there

are some real basics that need to be

477

: 00:31:22

approached, such, such as relationships.

478

: 00:31:26

Sexuality, business, music, the arts,

479

: 00:31:34

health, all of these

things come into play.

480

: 00:31:37

They're all a part of

our lives to some degree.

481

: 00:31:40

And either we're dealing with

those issues or we know of someone

482

: 00:31:43

who is dealing with issues.

483

: 00:31:45

Um, and we want to present it

in a way that lets you know that

484

: 00:31:52

you're one, you're not alone and

two, it's something that you can.

485

: 00:31:58

solve or resolve either within yourself

or with the help of other people.

486

: 00:32:04

So we constantly put out there, uh,

resources to let people know that if

487

: 00:32:11

you're dealing with this particular issue

or subject, here's a resource for you.

488

: 00:32:17

Of course, with the internet and

Google, it's so easy to find some of

489

: 00:32:23

these things, but it can be a jungle.

490

: 00:32:28

And just like if, If you want to,

uh, work with a therapist, how

491

: 00:32:33

do you find the right therapist?

492

: 00:32:36

Right.

493

: 00:32:37

Not every therapist is going

to be the right one for you.

494

: 00:32:41

As a gay man, if I work with a therapist

who doesn't, who is anti LGBTQ?

495

: 00:32:48

Ehhh.

496

: 00:32:49

That's not going to work for me.

497

: 00:32:52

Now, probably not, no, but you know,

I might work with that individual

498

: 00:32:57

on the side to understand where

they're coming from and to see

499

: 00:33:02

if we can open, uh, their mind.

500

: 00:33:06

Tony Tidbit: Speaking of open

minds, what's some of the feedback

501

: 00:33:08

that you're getting from, from

the audience in terms of the

502

: 00:33:11

magazine, the content, the articles?

503

: 00:33:14

David Christel: People love

what we are presenting.

504

: 00:33:16

They want us to keep it up.

505

: 00:33:19

So I think one of the most remarkable

things I've heard, um, Bilal and Brad

506

: 00:33:23

told me this was that they were at a

big convocation of some sort and some.

507

: 00:33:30

White people came up to them

or a white guy came up to him

508

: 00:33:35

and said, I love your magazine.

509

: 00:33:38

Would you do a white version for us

510

: 00:33:42

now?

511

: 00:33:43

As soon as I heard that the

irony did not escape me.

512

: 00:33:47

Tony Tidbit: What was the white person?

513

: 00:33:49

I mean, white version be cosmopolitan.

514

: 00:33:51

David Christel: Uh, I mean, Oh, my God.

515

: 00:33:55

I just laughed, almost fell out of

my chair, but this is the kind of

516

: 00:34:01

impact we're having on, uh, for our

readership is that they want more and

517

: 00:34:08

we're expanding the number of pages

that we have by, um, in putting in

518

: 00:34:13

more articles and really looking at the

issues that we are facing, like we have a

519

: 00:34:20

national election coming up in November.

520

: 00:34:22

Right.

521

: 00:34:23

What are the issues

that we need to address?

522

: 00:34:26

To help people understand what's

really going on and to make an

523

: 00:34:30

informed decision as to how they want

to vote or who they want to support.

524

: 00:34:36

Um,

525

: 00:34:37

Tony Tidbit: let me ask

you, I'm sorry, buddy.

526

: 00:34:39

I just want to ask you this because

I don't want to miss this part in

527

: 00:34:42

terms of the issues, um, that you

guys write about in the magazine.

528

: 00:34:47

Okay.

529

: 00:34:48

Yeah.

530

: 00:34:49

Are there some, some, some

themes that, that, uh, uh, people

531

: 00:34:54

gravitate more to versus others?

532

: 00:34:56

Can you tell us a little bit about that?

533

: 00:34:58

David Christel: You know, I don't think

I have an answer for you on that one.

534

: 00:35:03

Okay.

535

: 00:35:04

I know that health is always important.

536

: 00:35:07

Okay.

537

: 00:35:08

Um, and there's so much to

health to look at, um, finances.

538

: 00:35:15

Uh, dating and how dating is changing,

how relationships are changing because,

539

: 00:35:22

you know, the, I, the old model of you get

married, have children and grandchildren

540

: 00:35:28

isn't necessarily working anymore.

541

: 00:35:31

Right.

542

: 00:35:31

We have individuals who are married,

but they live in separate cities.

543

: 00:35:36

That's what works best for them.

544

: 00:35:39

Right.

545

: 00:35:39

Right.

546

: 00:35:40

Living together.

547

: 00:35:40

No.

548

: 00:35:41

But they do want to be married

and they love each other.

549

: 00:35:46

Well, that's not traditional.

550

: 00:35:48

Tony Tidbit: No, it's not.

551

: 00:35:49

Well, it's, it's, it's 2024, right?

552

: 00:35:52

This is, you know, things

evolve and people change.

553

: 00:35:55

Um, you, so obviously you guys all.

554

: 00:36:00

And I want to say all, but the

majority of you participate

555

: 00:36:02

in terms of writing articles.

556

: 00:36:04

Bilal writes some articles, Brad writes

articles, you know, I, I read one of

557

: 00:36:10

your articles and it really blew me away.

558

: 00:36:12

Um, and, and the article was

called what is true freedom, right?

559

: 00:36:16

Everybody, everyone has their

own idea of what freedom is.

560

: 00:36:19

Can you, can you, number one, share,

tell us why did you, why you wrote

561

: 00:36:24

that article and, and, and talk about

some of the other articles that you

562

: 00:36:27

wrote and why do you write them?

563

: 00:36:31

David Christel: Well, you know, it

may seem kind of odd for a white

564

: 00:36:35

guy to be writing some of these,

these on these subjects, but I try

565

: 00:36:40

to keep as balanced perspective

as possible when I work on these.

566

: 00:36:46

Um, again, it's about expanding a

person's understanding of what's

567

: 00:36:50

actually going on in our world.

568

: 00:36:52

Mm-Hmm.

569

: 00:36:53

. So when I wrote about freedom, I thought

as a black person in this country.

570

: 00:37:00

You have a very different understanding of

what freedom is than this white boy here.

571

: 00:37:07

But I also went through my version

of, of struggling for freedom.

572

: 00:37:14

Correct.

573

: 00:37:15

Correct.

574

: 00:37:16

And that's not everybody's experience.

575

: 00:37:19

There are people who

have had my experiences.

576

: 00:37:22

It's horrific to hear about.

577

: 00:37:25

If we don't put that information

out there, then people are going

578

: 00:37:30

to live in their own little worlds.

579

: 00:37:32

Their own little universes

with whatever perceptions they

580

: 00:37:35

have about what's going on.

581

: 00:37:37

And unfortunately, our education system

is really suffering so that when I talk

582

: 00:37:44

to younger people and I bring up various

names, you know, well known people, and

583

: 00:37:50

they have no idea who I'm talking about.

584

: 00:37:52

They know who Ariane is.

585

: 00:37:55

Ariana Grande is.

586

: 00:37:57

Tony Tidbit: They know

the entertainers, right?

587

: 00:37:59

Yeah, they own the entertainers.

588

: 00:38:00

David Christel: Some people

don't know who Madonna is.

589

: 00:38:02

Right.

590

: 00:38:03

And, um, you know, they

don't know their history.

591

: 00:38:07

History to me is very important,

either for your particular field

592

: 00:38:11

or your interest, but just general

history, so you know what's going on

593

: 00:38:15

in the world, where we've come from,

so that we don't repeat some of the

594

: 00:38:20

horrible things that we've Done.

595

: 00:38:23

Right.

596

: 00:38:23

So we'll be going back into that

realm and, um, I find that very scary.

597

: 00:38:29

So I want to help educate people through

the articles, um, not just the ones I

598

: 00:38:34

write, but everything that we present.

599

: 00:38:37

I want to make sure that

what we present is authentic.

600

: 00:38:41

is um, lifting all boats that is

expanding your worldview, giving

601

: 00:38:48

you insights and maybe inspiring

you to do more research on your part

602

: 00:38:53

or get involved, uh, in some way.

603

: 00:38:58

I think that is awesome.

604

: 00:38:59

You know, one of the other articles that I

love was the looking glass theory, right?

605

: 00:39:05

The development of self image.

606

: 00:39:07

Talk a little bit about that.

607

: 00:39:09

Well, you know, we all

think we know who we are

608

: 00:39:15

and the, the old adage about you

can't judge a book by its cover.

609

: 00:39:22

Is, um, we're, a lot of that's happening

610

: 00:39:28

and people just by how they look, how they

dress, their color, the, the, the, what

611

: 00:39:35

they're involved in get judged and I've

been judged and I don't appreciate it and

612

: 00:39:47

especially by someone who doesn't know

me from Adam, so to speak to judge me.

613

: 00:39:54

Um, come on, wait a minute.

614

: 00:39:57

So, the looking glass theory is that,

really, you have to, you have to pause.

615

: 00:40:06

Put a pause on what's going on around you.

616

: 00:40:09

Disconnect yourself from your phone,

from the computers, from iPads, whatever.

617

: 00:40:15

Take a look in the mirror.

618

: 00:40:19

And really look deeply into your

eyes to get a sense of who you are.

619

: 00:40:28

Do some evaluation or assessment

of what your life has been about

620

: 00:40:37

and realize that there's more to it

than what you may perceive, right?

621

: 00:40:43

You know, I look at what I've gone

through in my life and for the longest

622

: 00:40:48

time, I just saw myself as a victim.

623

: 00:40:52

And I put that victim right

there in people's faces.

624

: 00:40:57

Look at me, poor me.

625

: 00:40:58

I've had a terrible life.

626

: 00:40:59

I've been, you know, a

victim, blah, blah, blah.

627

: 00:41:03

I had to get over that because

I was holding myself back.

628

: 00:41:08

And the example I use is that when

I was, um, my first year at Adelphi

629

: 00:41:13

University in their dance program, the

way things were set up back then, after

630

: 00:41:18

each semester you would have a review.

631

: 00:41:21

You would sit in front of your

teachers and they would review you.

632

: 00:41:25

And whether you've got a good review or a

bad review, you usually came out crying.

633

: 00:41:32

My review was absolutely scathing.

634

: 00:41:36

They hated me.

635

: 00:41:40

Uh, they had the worst things to

say about me as a personality and,

636

: 00:41:44

and what kind of student I was.

637

: 00:41:48

And I ran all the way

back to my apartment.

638

: 00:41:51

I didn't want anybody to see me.

639

: 00:41:53

I was so upset.

640

: 00:41:55

And what I did was, um, for Christmas

vacation, I flew back to Colorado

641

: 00:42:03

and I met with Richard and I was

what, 23 years old at the time.

642

: 00:42:09

And he said, you know what?

643

: 00:42:11

I get a very strong feeling

that you're the problem.

644

: 00:42:15

I'm like, what?

645

: 00:42:17

Tony Tidbit: So you're ready

to bite his head off, right?

646

: 00:42:18

David Christel: Yeah.

647

: 00:42:19

Right.

648

: 00:42:19

You know, how could I be the problem?

649

: 00:42:21

It's everybody else.

650

: 00:42:23

So we talked about it and I realized

that, yeah, I'm the problem.

651

: 00:42:29

It's my ego, it's my sense of

being a victim, um, and just

652

: 00:42:34

working that to the hilt.

653

: 00:42:37

And I had to make a decision.

654

: 00:42:39

Did I want to have a dance career or not?

655

: 00:42:43

So I did a lot of meditating on that.

656

: 00:42:48

Excuse me.

657

: 00:42:48

And I went back to Adelphi

University for spring semester.

658

: 00:42:53

And what I heard more often than

anything else was the evil twin went

659

: 00:42:57

away and the good twin returned.

660

: 00:43:02

And I knew that this was a major

crossroads for myself that I

661

: 00:43:06

had managed to get through and

make a new decision for my life.

662

: 00:43:13

Then I started working my butt off

to gain the trust of my teachers and

663

: 00:43:20

my fellow students, and to really

focus on being a, being a dancer.

664

: 00:43:30

And then I started applying

that to the rest of my life.

665

: 00:43:36

And wow, I have a long way to go here.

666

: 00:43:38

And so I've been working

on that ever since.

667

: 00:43:41

And I support other people in doing

the same thing, uh, really looking

668

: 00:43:45

at who they believe themselves to

be, getting over their delusions and

669

: 00:43:52

illusions and realizing they are far

more than what they think they are or

670

: 00:43:58

what other people are telling them.

671

: 00:44:00

Tony Tidbit: Right.

672

: 00:44:01

Right.

673

: 00:44:01

You know what's interesting though?

674

: 00:44:03

You said the word ego.

675

: 00:44:06

Okay.

676

: 00:44:07

And, you know, based on all the horrific

things that you've been through,

677

: 00:44:12

okay, you still created an ego, right?

678

: 00:44:16

When you were in school.

679

: 00:44:18

That you still so think about that

for a second that just goes to show

680

: 00:44:22

how we our own self no matter what

we go through, we still think highly

681

: 00:44:28

or we have some type of, you know,

mechanism that makes us feel that we're

682

: 00:44:33

better than what we typically are.

683

: 00:44:36

Okay.

684

: 00:44:36

Regardless of the circumstances.

685

: 00:44:38

And you had to figure that out.

686

: 00:44:40

And God bless, you know, your

partner with being honest with you.

687

: 00:44:45

But then also to be fair, God bless you

to be willing to listen and hear What he

688

: 00:44:55

was trying to tell you, because by you

listening to that and meditating on it,

689

: 00:45:02

marinating it, it helped change your life.

690

: 00:45:05

David Christel: I know the first

of all, thank you for that.

691

: 00:45:08

But second is that the thing about

ego is you're going to have an ego.

692

: 00:45:14

It's when you decide that

you're better than someone else.

693

: 00:45:18

Is when you're going to trip up.

694

: 00:45:20

What I did was I looked at what

other people were doing that I really

695

: 00:45:25

liked that I thought was stellar.

696

: 00:45:28

And I tried to emulate that.

697

: 00:45:32

Um, but I had to go through a period

because I became extremely competitive.

698

: 00:45:38

I was going to outdo everybody in

any audition, in any dance, whatever.

699

: 00:45:44

I was going to be the best.

700

: 00:45:46

The top dog, uh, the Leo ego was really

coming out, but being in a dance company,

701

: 00:45:55

you have to learn to work with others.

702

: 00:45:59

Yeah.

703

: 00:46:00

So I got my butt kicked again.

704

: 00:46:04

And, um, thank God.

705

: 00:46:09

For a number of things, the other dancers

putting up with me for artistic directors,

706

: 00:46:17

recognizing that I had talent and that I

was holding myself back because of my ego.

707

: 00:46:25

And as you said, I had to learn to

listen and then really take in what I

708

: 00:46:33

was hearing and reflect on that deeply.

709

: 00:46:37

Not just, Oh yeah, I get that.

710

: 00:46:38

No, I had to really reflect on it.

711

: 00:46:41

And so that is an integral part of

my life now, because I do a lot of

712

: 00:46:48

facilitation of groups and I do plenty

of public speaking, I have to listen.

713

: 00:46:56

And if I'm not listening,

then I'm not being present.

714

: 00:47:00

If I'm not being present,

I'm not being authentic.

715

: 00:47:04

And then what's the point?

716

: 00:47:07

Right.

717

: 00:47:07

And what people are looking for,

whether they are conscious of it or not,

718

: 00:47:11

they are looking for real connection.

719

: 00:47:14

Correct.

720

: 00:47:16

So, I have to be an example of that.

721

: 00:47:19

I have to walk that talk.

722

: 00:47:23

Tony Tidbit: Well, I think

that's something that we all

723

: 00:47:25

have to be an example of, right?

724

: 00:47:27

You know, that old saying, when you

point one finger to somebody else, you

725

: 00:47:30

got three fingers pointing back at you.

726

: 00:47:32

I think that's the key.

727

: 00:47:34

So tell us as we, as we start to close,

tell us about the future of CODE M.

728

: 00:47:38

Where, where are you guys

looking to take CODE M?

729

: 00:47:41

David Christel: Well, we are moving

into a national arena and, you

730

: 00:47:46

know, we start, start off local than

regional, and now we are definitely

731

: 00:47:49

moving into a national arena.

732

: 00:47:53

And that just means that there.

733

: 00:47:57

Are more readers that we would love

to hear from, we want your feedback,

734

: 00:48:04

your perspectives so that we can

meet you on the playing field of

735

: 00:48:12

code M and that because of what our

country is going through, we want to

736

: 00:48:19

bring people together and if we can

do that on a national stage, great.

737

: 00:48:25

And our message is very clear.

738

: 00:48:28

We are here to transform the lives of men.

739

: 00:48:32

To us, that means moving, the

spiral is going up, not that way.

740

: 00:48:39

It's not going down.

741

: 00:48:40

It's going up.

742

: 00:48:42

So we can only do that

if we hear from you.

743

: 00:48:47

If you really disagree with

what we're doing or articles

744

: 00:48:51

that we're writing, Let us know.

745

: 00:48:54

We need to hear that.

746

: 00:48:55

That's part of our listening.

747

: 00:48:57

So that, again, we can work with

you to help the Black community,

748

: 00:49:04

help all communities rise.

749

: 00:49:07

Because, like I said earlier,

we're all in this together.

750

: 00:49:10

Tony Tidbit: There's no

question, my brother.

751

: 00:49:11

David Christel: We can't compartmentalize

ourselves, and we see so much

752

: 00:49:15

of that happening right now.

753

: 00:49:17

The level of divisiveness

is extraordinary.

754

: 00:49:21

And It's very sad.

755

: 00:49:24

It's very painful to see this going on.

756

: 00:49:29

You know, you read all the science

fiction that we're going to, you

757

: 00:49:32

know, things are going to get

better and we have a beautiful life.

758

: 00:49:36

Well, I don't see that happening.

759

: 00:49:40

And we have to work at it, but

we can't work at it by pointing,

760

: 00:49:45

as you say, pointing a finger to

somebody else and blaming them or

761

: 00:49:49

say, hang on to a victim mentality.

762

: 00:49:54

We've all been through hard

times in different ways.

763

: 00:49:58

So let's support each other

through it and beyond it.

764

: 00:50:04

Tony Tidbit: I love it, my friend.

765

: 00:50:05

Hey, listen, number one, thank you.

766

: 00:50:10

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

767

: 00:50:12

Um, I love you a lot, my brother.

768

: 00:50:14

And I mean that you're just

a great, great human being.

769

: 00:50:18

And you have a lot of lessons to share

with other individuals while you still,

770

: 00:50:23

as you were saying, Still deal with

the things that you have to deal with.

771

: 00:50:27

And I think that's something we're

always at a, that construction thing

772

: 00:50:31

where it says work in progress, right?

773

: 00:50:33

As long as, as long as we know that,

right, we're a work in progress.

774

: 00:50:37

How can, let me ask you this, my

friend, how can a black executive

775

: 00:50:40

perspective podcast help David

Christo and Kodum magazine?

776

: 00:50:48

David Christel: Gee, um, you

know, it's really getting the

777

: 00:50:51

word out that you, one, you exist.

778

: 00:50:55

And two, that Code N exists, that

we're in partnership and, um, you know,

779

: 00:51:02

just using all the avenues available

to become more visible to everybody.

780

: 00:51:09

Let people know that we are a

magazine and a, um, group of people,

781

: 00:51:19

a family, that's of substance.

782

: 00:51:24

We're not playing around.

783

: 00:51:26

We are touching hearts.

784

: 00:51:30

We are touching minds.

785

: 00:51:32

We are here, all of us together,

to create the world that we

786

: 00:51:38

all envision, a better world.

787

: 00:51:41

We can do that.

788

: 00:51:42

It's going to take a lot of

work, and a lot of stamina, and

789

: 00:51:46

a lot of self reflection, but

we can all do that together.

790

: 00:51:51

So, just get the word out there.

791

: 00:51:54

If you know of a great journalist, Let

us know, put us in contact with them.

792

: 00:52:00

We'll search it out and

see what happens next.

793

: 00:52:04

Tony Tidbit: I love it.

794

: 00:52:04

My brother, I love it.

795

: 00:52:06

And speaking of, you know, working

together, we really enjoy our

796

: 00:52:10

partnership with Koden magazine.

797

: 00:52:12

And.

798

: 00:52:12

Not because there's, there are pages

in a magazine, it's because of the

799

: 00:52:17

people that represent those pages

like yourself and Bilal and Brad.

800

: 00:52:23

So, really, really thank you

for coming on David Christel,

801

: 00:52:28

Managing Editor of CODE M Magazine.

802

: 00:52:31

We appreciate you sharing your story

and listening to your perspective.

803

: 00:52:35

David Christel: Well, thank

you for the opportunity and

804

: 00:52:37

thank you all for listening.

805

: 00:52:40

Tony Tidbit: You're welcome, my brother.

806

: 00:52:42

So I think it's now

time for Tony's tidbit.

807

: 00:52:46

When a magazine uplifts the black family,

it raises the consciousness of the

808

: 00:52:52

entire community, promoting a dialogue

that bridges gaps and builds bridges.

809

: 00:53:00

And you heard that.

810

: 00:53:02

Verbatim from David Christel, the man,

managing editor of CODE M Magazine.

811

: 00:53:07

So we want to thank him for coming.

812

: 00:53:10

So I hope you enjoyed today's

episode, pioneering change and

813

: 00:53:15

breaking barriers, CODE M Magazine.

814

: 00:53:17

But before we leave, you have

to, we got to go to our call to

815

: 00:53:21

action because we're looking for.

816

: 00:53:23

Everyone to incorporate

this call of action.

817

: 00:53:26

You heard from David earlier that it's

all, we're all connected together.

818

: 00:53:30

It's all about working together.

819

: 00:53:32

So as you know, our call to

action is called L.E.S.S.

820

: 00:53:36

L E S S, and less L stands for learn.

821

: 00:53:41

So you want to learn about new

people, new cultures, history,

822

: 00:53:46

stuff that you don't know.

823

: 00:53:48

And then E stands for empathize.

824

: 00:53:51

Okay.

825

: 00:53:52

Once you learn, now you should have more

empathy towards your fellow human being.

826

: 00:53:58

S stands for share.

827

: 00:54:00

Now you want to share what you've

learned to other individuals

828

: 00:54:05

so they can become enlightened.

829

: 00:54:07

And then the.

830

: 00:54:07

Other S stands for stop.

831

: 00:54:10

You want to stop discrimination

when it comes into your path.

832

: 00:54:14

So if grandma says something inappropriate

at the Thanksgiving table, you say,

833

: 00:54:18

grandma, we don't talk like that.

834

: 00:54:21

Right.

835

: 00:54:22

So we can get everyone.

836

: 00:54:23

To incorporate less L.

837

: 00:54:26

E.

838

: 00:54:27

S.

839

: 00:54:27

S.

840

: 00:54:28

in your walk of walk of life will be able

to build a fair and understanding world.

841

: 00:54:35

And more importantly, and David said

this earlier, we'll be able to see

842

: 00:54:38

the change that we all want to see.

843

: 00:54:42

So.

844

: 00:54:43

Tune in to the next episode of a

black executive perspective magazine.

845

: 00:54:47

Excuse me.

846

: 00:54:48

See, I'm already, we already partnered

with code M cause I'm saying a black

847

: 00:54:51

executive perspective magazine, but a

black executive perspective podcast,

848

: 00:54:56

wherever you get your podcast.

849

: 00:54:57

And you can follow us on all our

socials X, YouTube, Instagram,

850

: 00:55:03

LinkedIn, and tick tock at a black

exec or our fabulous lovable.

851

: 00:55:09

Yes.

852

: 00:55:10

David Christel for our man

behind the glass, double A

853

: 00:55:13

who puts all this together.

854

: 00:55:15

I'm Tony tidbit.

855

: 00:55:16

We talked about it.

856

: 00:55:18

We love you.

857

: 00:55:19

And we're out

858

: 00:55:25

BEP Narrator: a black

executive perspective.